Falling

It has been over a year since I last posted a thought, quip, image, or update on my beloved blog.  I assure you that it hasn’t been because my mind has been elsewhere.  On the contrary, I often think of this little blog and the many, many, many, things that I want to post here.  … Perhaps too many.  I have always had the tendency to dream bigger than I could manage in reality.  Ho hum.

Michael Zavros - Falling

Falling

The past year has turned and left me in a very different place than I anticipated it would.  I suppose that is the habit of passing years.  I am currently living in a house in Queens that sometimes feels more like a hostel than a cozy home, but often accomplishes both functions.  There is a tree filled back yard, few rules, and plenty of decent people to converse with, or hide from in my room.  I sleep on a giant air mattress, covered with sheets commandeered from my ex boyfriend, that tilts to the right.  My trusty jersey pillow is here.  Together we have spooned our way across the country, through Mormonism, around awkward nighttime visitors, and over the hedge.  This summer I became a college grad (YAY!), an even longer term Banana zombie (BOO!), and a single New Yorker (…eh?). All and all it’s been eventful.  Now we’re on another adventure.

I’m tempted to quit here.  To not expound on what I’ve thought and felt.  I’ve been tempted to quit in a lot of places over the past months.  But I suppose the important thing to note is that I haven’t, not entirely.  I’ve spent a day or two in bed more than I should or shouldn’t.  I’ve eaten or not eaten when I should or shouldn’t.  I’ve cried, or yelled, or snapped when I should or shouldn’t.  I’ve been falling.  But I haven’t quit, not entirely.

Now.

It seems a little silly to claim that I am falling still, almost as silly as it seems to claim that I’m not.  But whether I’m falling or not, I need to buy a new bed… and new goddamn sheets.  Oh yeah, I’m going to get an awesome job too….